save us
by Lilli89
Summary: When one of their CIs freaks out, Erin and Jay have to fight to protect their family...
1. Chapter 1

„Are you kidding me? What does this mean, my husband and son are still in the ICU after a gun shot battle? What is going on right here?", Erin screamed at the doctor, who tried to held her back with Voights help.

„This is my family. You can't ban me, Alec. I want to see Ben and Jay. Right now", Erin protested but was forced to keep back by Voight and Olinsky.

„Listen, kid. Freaking out doesn't bring us anywhere. You just sit tight, take a deep breath and hear what Alec is going to tell you."

Hank forced her to took place on a hospital chair, putting his arms on her shoulder.

When she became calmer Alec sat next to her and started to speak.

„So, here are the news. Jay and Ben were brought into the ICU after shots were fired at a parking lot. It seems like everything was planned but probably your colleagues can offer further information. Jay was hit by a bullet when he tried to protect your son. Thanks to this, Ben is gonna be okay. Slight wounds. The operation went remarkably fine. Your husband suffered from several gun shot wounds. He lost a lot of blood but we were able to stop the inner bleedings. Both are still in Intensive Care. But we gonna move them to one room. They might be awake soon."

Nervously Lindsay wiped the tears from her eyes. But she still was a mess.

„Can I see them?"

„Of course. Come, on. Let me show you."

Erin shared a concerned view with Voight before she followed Alec along the hall.

„Here it is."

„Thank you."

„You're welcome. If you need anything, call a nurse", he informed Erin, before he walked away.

CPDCPDCPD

Lindsay felt heart broken. Hiding her tears, she stepped into the room and looked at her family in desperation.

Her 6 year old was still fallen asleep, while Jay was lying in his bed, holding his sons hand from the other side.

His head moved to the front door and he smiled weakly when he recognized someone stepping in.

„Erin?"

She walked to his bed, gently placing a kiss on his lips.

„Jay. What happened?"

Halstead shrugged his shoulders, while Lindsay was pulling a chair to sit next to him.

The sharp pain in his chest caused him trouble speaking.

„We went to the car when I heard loud noises,later identyfying as shootings. Suddenly I've seen some kind of a black dressed guy who was pointing his gun in our direction. Thats when I jumped in front of Ben and everything I remember was a sharp pain in my chest until I blacked out."

She squeezed his hand, but couldn't answer because of their son, finally being awake.

„Daddy? Mummy? Where am I? What happened? My tummy hurts so bad", Ben was crying, still no idea what happened to him before.

Jay stroked his hand, trying to calm him down, when Erin moves around Jays bed to stay next to her sons bed side.

„You're at the hospital, buddy", Erin stroked his head to get him calm.

„But Daddy is with you. See? He's right over there."

She had a hard time, transfering the news to their pre-schooler.

„I want to go home", he cried, getting Erin to sigh.

Lindsay and Halstead glanced at each other in sadness.

„I know, buddy. But it needs a little time."

„Can I come over to Daddy?"

Erin wasn't sure, but Jay nodded and put his blanket aside.

Even his gun shot wounds caused him a sharp pain he didn't flinch

„Come on big guy", Erin took Ben in her arms, rolling his IV to Jays bed.

After a short battle to get the cables and tubes in the right positon father and son managed to stay on the matress. Ben huddled against Jays chest, already feeling better close to his father.

Jay stroked Bens head , still in relieve that nothing serious happened to both of them.

With their son being asleep again, Erin and Jay managed to going on talking about serious issues.

They glanced at each other in concern, suspecting that it would only be the beginning of a serious problem.

„You think you're safe here? Burgess and Ruzek still patrol the area."

Jay stared at Ben in an uncomfortable way.

„Acctually I don't know. I'm not sure but I have a very bad feeling on one of my Cis lately. It's just an assumption but I think Gallagher lied to me."

Erin looked at her husband in a skeptical way.

Normally they only talked rarely about their CIs. Every detective had a bunch full of criminal informants, that they already were unable to keep track.

Regarding Erins look, Jay needed to explain the whole story.

„It's all about Johnny Carter. He's a drug boss, who sells crack and other narcotics. Gallagher offered a deal to offer some information, but Antonio found out that there are hints, that Carter knows, that we are working undercover."

„So that obviously mean we've got a bounty on our heats, isn't it?"

Jay nodded with a deep sigh.

„Obviously it looks like that."

Erin closed her eyes, then opened it again.

„You know what? When we decided to have a kid, this ist he situation I was always scared for the most, because I've already seen it coming."

„I don't regret this little one right here."

Erin rolled her eyes.

„That's not what I'm saying. I talk about the responsibility for raising Ben. And that also includes being raised in security, not only in a financial way. I just want him tob e safe. How do we realize that with a bounty, who isn't even scared to hurt a 6 year old?"

„It's gonna be okay."

„You don't know that."

„What about seperating? Just until the bounty blows over. I would feel better to know that you and Ben are staying at Voights house."

„I don't know. Actually he needs both of us right now. But we have to think about it."


	2. Chapter 2

"Mummy, how long do I have to stay here?", Ben asked Erin, after he was brought to Voights house.

Erin glanced at Hank, who looked at both in concern.

"I'm not as bad as you think", Voight joked, without getting the attention he aimed for.

Normally the six year old adored his grandpa. But after knowing, that he only would be able to see his parents twice a week, when Hank picked him up from school, the situation got a little bit different.

Erin smiled at him sadly, kneeling down to their pre-schooler and put her hands on his shoulders.

„Listen, buddy. It's just for a few days, probably some weeks and I know you're already a really big guy who is able to handle this. All right?"

„Why are you crying, Mummy?"

Erin did a bad job hiding her tears in front of her son, even if she tried her best to wipe the upcoming water away.

„You better go now", Hank whispered trying to make saying good bye as easy as possible , before Erin hugged her son.

„Mummy got some dust in her eyes. Nothing serious. She's fine", Erin kissed him, before she silently walked to the door, without turning around.

Ben stared at the table, an unhappy expression on his face.

„Hey, little man. What about playing with your cool new car", Hank grabbed some matchbox, getting Ben to shook his head.

„I'm tired. I think I'm going to bed", Ben whispered before he left the room, while being watched by a worried Hank Voight…

CPDCPDCPDCPD

„Ben? May I come in?", a dark voice whispered, when Hank Voight entered the room of his grandson one week later.

The rise and fall of the blanket revealed in what kind of constitution the pre-schooler was.

It didn't need to be a professional to see that he was crying, while he was hidding under the cover, even if the blanket was wrapped around his little body.

Voight sat down on the mattress, gently placing his hand on Bens little back, stroking up and down.

„Listen, kid. I know that things aren't easy for you. But I want you to know, that you're a really brave young man who already managed to stay here for a very long time and that your parents are really proud of you. Do you hear me?"

After this words Ben crawled out of his blanket, sitting up in his bed.

„But I miss my Mummy and Daddy", he sobbed being pulled in a deep hug by Hank.

„I know you are. But I promise you will be back very soon. And tomorrow we gonna meet them in the office. How does that sound?"

Ben sniffled, trying to wipe his tears away.

He didn't respond, just looked at the desk.

„Do they still love me and want me back?"

Hank swallowed hard. He had gone through a lot in his entire life, but after this question he felt like he lost the ground under his feet.

Obviously Ben thought it was about him.

„For sure. Why are you asking?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders.

„Look, this ain't some kind of a punishment. Your Mum and Da decided to send you here, because they want you to be in a safe place. And it's not forever, even if it feels like."

„Really?"

„Really."

Ben snuggled on Hanks shoulders, placing his little head on Voights chest.

„Grandpa?"

„Yeah?"

„Can you stay with me tonight? I feel lonely"

„Come here. Let'sget you to my room. It has more space for both of us."

Ben hesitated.

„And can I bring Mr. Owl with me?", he pointed at his stuffed animal, making Voight laugh.

„Alright, attaboy. Hurry up. It's already late."

CPDCPDCPD

„Erin he's gonna be fine. Voight is with him. There is no need to be afraid."

Erin put her phone on the night stand, lying back next to Jays chest again.

„Thats not what I'm worrying about."

She looked at the photo on Jays shelf, which showed the whole family.

„He's just six. After being shot he is forced to live with his grandpa. What is this gonna make with a kid? What would you feel if your parents would send you away like a bag of trash, while they're working with the person you live with. It's totally insane."

Jay sighed.

„Erin were not forcing anything. He's just staying there for a couple of days and we didn't send him to some kind of boarding school in Alaska. He's with Voight right now. Like on a holiday. Don't make such a big deal out of it. He played with his new Lego house and seemed okay today"

„Yeah, if you ignore his pale skin colour and his new eating attitudes or his bad grades in school he is as well as a boy can be."

Jay groaned stressed.

„It's three weeks after the shooting and we didn't get the shoter yet. How long do you want him to be away from us? Until he's 18?"

Jay moved away from her, sitting up in bed again.

His whole body language told, that he didn't like to talk about it anymore.

„Listen, you were the one, who got the idea of sending him alone. I wanted both of you to stay at Voights house. That's when you wouldn't leave me alone."

„Waite? You think it's my fault? Are you kidding me? So, I am the bad mum, who sent him away while his parents enjoy life without him."

„No, that's not what I'm saying."

Erin jumped out of bed, putting her shirt on.

„What are you doing?"

„ I'm gonna drive to Voight. Afterwards I'm sleeping on the couch. You're better not waiting for me", she screamed at him, before she left with a loud noise of a closed door…


	3. Chapter 3

Heavily crying Erin was sitting at Voights kitchen table.

„You shouldn't be here", Hank told her, when he handed her a tissue before she confirmed with a nod.

„I know. But I couldn't handle it anymore."

Voight sighed, gently rubbing her back.

„It's gonna killing me to be away from him. Right now and after the shooting he needs us the most and instead of provoding comfortwe sent him away. Thats not fair."

„Erin…"

She already stood up from her chair, walked towards her old bedroom.

She gently opened the door, stepping in and sitting down on the edge of Bens bed.

„Mummy? Is it really you?", the pre-schooler whispered when Erin pulled him to her arms, holding him tight, while she cried.

She smelled the fruity scent of his shampoo, cluttering kisses on his cheek.

„I'm right here to take you home."

Feeling, that he was sobbing in her arms, she strenghtened her grip.

„Where is Daddy?"

„He's already waiting for us."

She let go off him, grabbed his favorite toys around his bed.

„Come, on let's get you home."

„You won't", a dark voice whispered, being recognized as Voight. Erin looked at him in confusion, when another shadow appeared behind him, being identified as Jay.

„Let's stay here", he twinkled, gettting a sharp glance from Lindsays side.

„Daddy!, the youngster screamed jumping in Jays serious views from Erin.

„Ben? I have to talk to Daddy", she took Jay aside to the neighborhood room, closing the door behind them.

She had a hard time fighting her tears.

„What are you doing?"

He laughed ironically.

„Same question goes out to you. We had a plan. Do you want your whole family to get killed, Erin?"

She tuned around, looked at him in anger and desperation.

„Are you kidding me? Am I the reason why we're here? Sorry for loving our son!", she yelled at him, already wanted to walk into the living room, when Jay grabbed her arm.

„Erin, come on. Please."

„Let me go."

„No, listen Erin."

The tears came back. She already started to cry again.

Tenderly he placed his hand on her shoulder.

„I know it's my fault. You should have left me to stay at Voights house with Ben."

He rubbed her back.

„It's not easy for all of us. But we gonna get through this together. Trust me."

Erin turned around crying, helplessly placing her head against his shoulder.

She hated him, but at the same time she couldn't be angry.

„It's gonna be okay", he promised, rocking her in his arms, while he was watched by Voight who glanced at him in frustration.

„We're staying here. All of us. Together."

CPDCPDCPDCPDCPD

„Hey, Will. Come in", Erin greeted her brother- in-law after he knocked on the door. It was one day after the fight.

The whole Halstead family was staying at Voights house, since they didn't had to work at the station.

It was two weeks after the shooting and time for taking a look at the healing process which father and son had been gone through.

Since it was too risky to drive to the hospital with Ben, Will Halstead made sure that his nephew and brother were okay without inventing them to his consultation-hour at chicago med. It was time to remove the medical suture.

„Right there in the living-room", Erin directed Will to walk next-door where Jay and Ben were sitting on the couch, still waiting for Wills arrival.

With Jay being calm, it wasn't hard to tell, that the pre-schooler fearfully stared at his uncle. Nearly crying Ben crossed his arms in anger.

„Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?"  
Ben shook his head.

„I won't take my shirt off."

Will sighed, putting his case on the ground.

„Ben, it won't hurt. We've already talked about it", Erin rolled her eyes. But her son remained in silence.

Jay, who groaned and crawled next to their youngest to lay his arm around him. Instead of getting calm Ben pushed him away and started walking, while he started to cry heavily.

„Let me go", he ran out of the room, locking the bathroom door to hide beyond all grown-ups, who watched the scene in disbelief.

„We had a deal", Erin shouted, getting a serious glance from Wills side.

„That's not the way he would come out of there. This kid is scared like hell", the oldest Halstead assumed, walking to the bathroom door like his younger brother.

„Pushing him too hard doesn't bring us anywhere. We have to act gently."

Jay was knocking when loud sobs ecaped from the other side of the room.

„Listen, big guy. Me and mum are right here with you. Uncle Will just wants to take a look at your old stomach wound to remove the stitches."

„It would hurt", Ben wheeped from the neighborhood-room, making his uncle shaking his head.

„No, it won't. I'm really careful. Big promise", Will explained to him without getting any answer.

„Remember that cool Lego car, we've seen at Toys' r' us? If you walk out of here, we could think about getting it before christmas", Jay lured him, not without getting protests from the bathroom.

„You're lying, like you did before. You said we would all be together and then I had to stay with grandpa. You left me alone!", Ben yelled hitting his parents right in the face with his words.

„Great, Jay. See, how far we got", Erin sizzled, stepping next to her husband and brother-in law.

It was time to tell the truth.

„Sweetie, I know it's been a rough time for you and I know you're scared. But uncle Will is right here to care for you and Dad and he's gonna make you feel better. I promise you, that there is no way to let you stay at a place you don't belong for longer."

There was no answer. Only some sobbs escaped from Ben's throat.

Will already resigned.

„Listen. Since there is no way, he would come out of here. I'm able to check on him later."

Jay rolled his eyes, knocking on the door as a last try.

„Ben, we just suggest you an offer. If it's gonna hurt, we just stop the treatment. Come on, buddy."

Finally the door knob started moving and out came an unhappy pre-schooler, both eyes red from crying.

„Really? Big deal?"

„Big deal", Jay promised while spreading his hands and catching his son, who jumped on his shoulder, where he clinged like a Koala bear.

„Come, on let's get you to the couch", Jay gently put him on the sofa, helping to get his spiderman t shirt off, where all looked at a white bandage he got at the hospital last time.

Ben flinched and bit his lips. He fought hard to avoid crying and screaming.

„You wanna sit on your Dads lap?", Will questioned, getting a nod from his nephew before Jay put him on his legs where he tiedly placed his head on his fathers chest.

„First I have to remove your bandage, okay?", Will explained the single steps, carefully removing the white piece.

Will and Erin treated concerned views, already knowing what comes next. Lindsay who felt a bit dizzy grabbed a chair to sit down. Not that she wasn't able to see blood or wounds. But things where a little bit different when it came to her own family.

Ben whimpered quietly, forcing Jay to put his sons hand in his own.

„Good job, buddy. You're really brave and your injury looks pretty good. No infection. Would you clench your teeth for another time? I'm gonna take my kit for removing the stitches. It's just like ripping a bandaid off. It probably hurts at first and then everything is gonna be fine", Will explained without getting good results.

„No", Ben cried again, when the doctor already cleaned the part with a fabric of alcohol.

„It's alright. It's just for getting the wound clean."

„Daddy", the pre-schooler cried in fear, being rocked in his fathers arms while Jay squeezed his hand.

„Shhhh…Right here buddy."

A blood curling scream disturbed the silence, when Will pulled up, cut and pulled out the sutures within seconds. Heavily screaming Ben started fighting. But Jay hold him close. Finally the youngster broke down in his arms.

„Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch."

„All done. It's over", Will promised, while Jay tried to calm his son who was heavily sobbing

„Shhhh….It's alright. You're fine. It's gonna be okay", he soothed his boy and started to rock him in his arms when his little one slapped around, unknowing that the procedure already ended. Jay catched his beats, getting up from the couch, while carrying Ben around.

„It's over. You're done", he repeated until Bens sobs changed into sniffles and he just tiredly leaned on his fathers shoulder.

„Attaboy", Jay whispered when the pre-schooler looked at his Dad. Still crying he glanced at his uncle.

„He's gonna hate me for the rest of his life", Will joked, while Halstead dropped Ben next to Erin where the little one snuggled on his Mum.

„Ready to order your lego car with Mummy?", Jay suggested making Erin to grab her phone to distract their son from the ongoing events.

Bens head rested on Erins chest when he pointed at the screen.

„I want batman", he sniffled, making all adults to sigh in relief…


	4. Chapter 4

„Be careful. The nightmares could indicate signs of PTSD", Will informed his brother who looked at him in disbelief.

„Waite, you mean he already suffered from it?", Jay asked while looking at Voights guest room, where Erin already rode a good night story to Ben.

Will denied.

„No, there is a difference between post traumatic stress disorder and post traumatic stress. While stress comes temporary after a shocking event, the symptoms of a disorder endure for over 6 months. But you shouldn't forget that the bullet hit his stomach. To me he looked extremely scared. He was never afraid like this. Remember when he had to get 10 stitches last year? He was even laughing, when we brought him in the ER. Today he cried like he got killed. That doesn't fit together. And to be honest: I've already seen it coming at the hospital."

„What can we do? I mean, you know the situation. It's hard for all of us and we're more than overwhelmed and helpless."

Will patted on his shoulder.

„Just be right there. Show him, that hes not alone."

„All right."

Will pulled his brother in hug.

„We all suffer from the ongoing events. Thats why it has to end as soon as possible."

„Defnietly."

Will pointed to the guest room, trying to wave at his nephew who just crawled under the bed sheets to hide himself.

„He hates me. I should bring sweets next time I visit you."

„He's gonna get over it."

„Stay safe, bro", Will said goodbye before he stepped outside the house to start his freetime after shift…

CPDCPDCPD

„How is little spiderman doing?", Jay greeted his son, crawling to his bed side while Ben snuggled on Erins chest, looking at the pictures of the book she already started reading to him.

„I'm Robin", Ben corrected his father and watched how Jay put his backup gun into the drawer of his nightstand. Ben crawled from Erin to his Dads bed side to place his little head on Jays black t shirt.

„Are we really save here?"

Quickly Jay closed the drawer, wrapped his arms around his son, while both parents covered their youngster in the middle with their blankets.

„Absolutely."

„Mummy and Daddy are right here with you, buddy."

Ben felt the steady breathing and the heartbeat in his fathers chest, which gave him a feeling of protection and safety.

But that wasn't enough. When Jays finger touched the button of the night lamp he protested again.

„Can we keep the lights on, when we go to sleep?"

Erin and Jay glanced at each other in concern, even if they gave in.

„Does it makes you feel better?"

„Yeah", Ben whispered, closing his eyes, putting his tiny hands around Jays waist.

„Good night, big guy", Erin whispered stroking Bens hair, when Jay placed a kiss on his forehead.

But finally it shouldn't be for long.

CPDCPDCPD

It was 3:30 when both parents woke up by screaming and crying.

„Ben, wake up. Come on, buddy. Open your eyes!"

Jay shook his son, calling his name, while him and Erin sat at the edge of their bed.

Lindsay looked at the youngest Halstead worriedly. She gently squeezed Bens hand, when Jay tried to wake him up. There was no doubt to wake him up from this nightmare.

„Buddy, it's Dad."

Finally Ben sat up in bed with a loud scream.

Sobbing and crying, he looked around and tried to orientate himself.

His lips trembled and he stuttered in confusion.

„They gonna get us. They've shot me. Mummy, they killed Daddy", he explained to Erin, getting worried glances from both parents.

„Daddy is dead…He died", Ben cried. Erin placed her hands on his shoulders to calm her son down, who wasn't able to stop talking.

„Mummy, Daddy is…"

„Shhhh…Ben, look at me."

The pre-schooler started to sob again, unable to speak.

„Ben, look at me", Erin repeated over and over, praying that he wouldn't start hyperventilating.

The little boy finally managed to look at his mother, still sobbing and gasping for breath.

„Daddy is right here. See?", she gently turned Bens head in Jays direction. Desperately Ben jumped into his fathers arms, starting to cry again.

Jay and Erin changed deeply moved glances, while they tried their best to calm their son down.

With Erin tenderly stroking Bens hair, Jay started to whisper soft words, to get him realizing that a nightmare won't hurt anyone of his family.

„You're safe now. Mum and Dad are here and nothing will happen to you. It's gonna be alright. It was just a bad dream, okay?"

Ben agreed by nodding, tiredly placing his head on Jays chest.

„Please, don't let them take me away from you", he begged why Erins eyes started to fill with tears.

„Shhh…No ones gonna take you away from us. You're right here at Grandpas", she placed a kiss on Bens head and continued to stroke his hair.

Jay watched Erin in sadness. Everything was his fault. He never wanted to let his son suffer from the mistakes he made at his job.

As same as in the evening Ben was clunching on his Dad like a dangler He was really attached to his father, like he feared to loose him at all.

Jay, who took Bens fear for serious held him in his arms until he seemed more calm.

„Do you feel better now?"

Ben denied, nervously grabbing Jays hand.

„I don't want to fall asleep again. What if the bad guy comes back?"

„Listen, baby. I know your scared. But I promise you, it won't happen again", Erin comforted him. But he shook his head in disbelief.

„What do you think about us staying awake while you close your eyes and get some rest?", Jay suggested, when noises from the floor get Ben to wince.

„Someone is coming", he whispered, when Erin already grabbed her gun, sneaking to the floor.

„It's alright. It's just grandpa", she cooled everyone down, before a worried Hank Voight looked into the room.

„You're all up? What's the matter?"

„Nightmares", Erin whispered sadly, getting Voight to change his facial expression within minutes.

He put his keys into the pocket, then took his chair next to the kingsize bed and placed his hand on Bens neck, who still hid himself in his fathers arms.

„Hey, attaboy. What scared you? Shall I chicken out someone for you? What is it?"

Voight and Halstead glanced at each other, when they recognized that the little one trembled like hell.

„The bad guy from the parking lot shot Daddy and me and Daddy died."

Even Voight got goosebumps by realizing Bens words. Unable to phrase an answer, it took him some time to speak out words of comfort.

„You know what? Sometimes our brain is playing a trick with us and in our dreams we see things which are not real. Your parents are right here and no one's gonna die. We're always looking out for you and in case some bad guy is coming in, he won't left this house alive. Big promise."

Ben looked at his grandfather in relief.

„You just close your eyes and think about your last trip to Legoland, okay? You have to get some sleep, because tomorrow I want you to paint a picture which shows the bad guy for me. Can you do that?"

„Of couse", Ben whispered and took his old place in the middle oft he bed.

„You want Daddy to stay with you?", Erin asked in a shaky tone, getting a nod from Ben.

Jay who suddenly understood what she meant, also lied down next to his son, put the blanket above both and embraced him. After Jay steady stroked over his eyes, Ben finally fall asleep, constantly breathing next to his father.

Thats when the grown-ups changed meaninfull views, making Erin to wave into Voights direction, showing, that she wanted to talk to him alone outside…


End file.
